


Spider Child

by TheOtherHalfOfTheShell



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Age Regression/De-Aging, Established Relationship, Humor, M/M, Sassy Peter, Tony Stark Is Not Helping
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-19
Updated: 2018-02-19
Packaged: 2019-03-21 02:04:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,756
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13730787
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheOtherHalfOfTheShell/pseuds/TheOtherHalfOfTheShell
Summary: Wanda gets tired of Peters attitude and turns him into a child, Hilarity ensues.





	Spider Child

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first Posted story, so let me know if the formatting is messed up still figuring out the site !  
> Posted On my Tumblr as well!

Peter sighed, “I don't wanna do this.”  
“To bad spider-boy, you know how hard it is to learn to control your powers, and I can't teach Billy while fighting him,” Wanda said not looking at all sorry for the torture she was putting her friend through. “Now Billy, spidey is very fast so maybe use a spell to make him slower? Then you have a better chance of incapacitating him.”  
Billy looked nervously at Wanda, “ what If I hurt him? I'm still not really in control of my magic.”  
Peter snorted, “ Don't worry about that kid you gotta land a blow first to hurt me.”  
“Spiderman! That is not how we train the recruits!,” Wanda said, as magic caused her hair to rustle slightly in aggravation.  
“It's not training unless someone ends up injured, Wanda dear,” Peter shot back.  
The scarlet witch threw a sly grin up towards peter where he sat in the rafters of the training facility grumbling of how his training consisted of getting his ass beat by black widow everyday, “So kid, you gonna hit me or what?”  
“I think I'm ready,” Billy said sliding into the fighting stance he’d been taught, magic crackling at his fingertips, “show me what ya got, ‘spidey’.”  
“Finally, but I'm gonna have to web ya a little for the ‘spidey’ comment,” Peter said swing down from the rafters directly towards the two sorcerers below him.  
Wanda stepped behind Billy whispering softly and as Billy finished his incantation and shot of a blast of magic. Hers intertwined with the young witches and guiding it to hit Spiderman directly in the chest.  
Peter gave a short yelp before falling to the training mat in a mist of red and blue sparks.  
“Omg, I did it! I hit spiderman, I did it!” Billy screamed jumping up and down in excitement.   
“Yes you did, the spider shouldn't be so arrogant now,” Wanda chuckled walking over to help Peter up, “is it training now spidey? I'm hoping you're a little injured.”  
Wanda stopped suddenly as the sparks cleared to reveal a mostly empty spider man suit and a much, much younger Peter Parker.  
“Spidey?” Wanda knelt down pulling the mask off the child who appeared to be about six.  
He looked up at her as she pulled of the mask slightly dazed, then angrily spat, “ You cheated! I saw you're magic guiding his and… and..” His rant quickly broke of into angry sobs as Peter looked around confused.  
“Did, did I?,” Billy start slowly coming over to kneel next to Wanda, “ please tell me I didn't turn spider man into a toddler.”  
“what's going on? It's really bright and loud? And my butt hurts!” Peter wailed working himself up more.  
“No, no, no, please calm down P- Spidey, it's going to be okay. I'm here, do you remember me?” Wanda said bring the tiny super hero into her arms.  
Peter latched on to her and continued to cry, “Wanda what's going on? I'm scared”  
“Hey spiderman, I am so sorry about this I swear I'm gonna fix it!,” Billy said reaching out to to rub Peters back.  
“No! Bad you hurt me!” Peter screamed hitting Billys hand and trying to move further away.  
“aaahhh, oh god owe, he still has his powers,” Billy moaned holding his hand to his chest.  
“Peter no! We do not hit people, tell Billy you're sorry!” Wanda scolded.  
“No! He needs to say sorry!,” Peter said wrestling away from Wanda and shooting web towards the ceiling.  
Wanda sighed rubbing her face, “ Go get your hand bandaged up and send whoever you find this way to wrestle him down.”  
*********  
Tony examined the top left corner of the training room, where Peter had formed his tiny nest and protective web in front letting him know if they got to close, “So we're dealing with a highly intelligent child who just so happens to have super strength, healing, sticks to walls, is faster than average, shoots webs and God knows what else, perfect we can totally handle this. Just wondering though what dumbass decided to do this?”  
“I'm sorry Mr. Stark it was an accident,” Billy started to mumble.  
“He was being cocky so I helped along one of Billy's spells, I was to aggravated with him being an ass to check what spell Billy was using beforehand, it was my fault, do not be angry with the boy,” Wanda said trying to pull her webbed hands apart, “also you forgot about the spidey-senses.”  
“well we can't just fight each other, besides he's not spider man right now, he's just a scared little kid,” Steve said coming over to help chip away at the webbing, “ His senses are probably in overload right now, can you undo the spell?”  
“Maybe, I'll have to go over what Billy said and try to counter it,” Wanda said finally freeing her hands with Steve's help.  
Steve nodded,”okay then you two to go and get that sorted out and we'll deal with Spiderman.” Wanda gave a curt nod before heading out with Billy in tow.  
“How exactly are you planning on us dealing with him captain?,” Tony asked crossing his arms.  
“Easy, I'm Captain America, kids love me.”  
***********  
Kids may love Captain America but it turns out that this young arachnid did not.   
Which is why Wade found them 3 hours later, Tony trying to clean webbing off his suit and Steve webbed to the floor. Hawkeye was sitting across from what appear to be a giant spider's nest shooting blunt arrows at it and having them caught in the webbing surrounding the nest.  
“Well this looks like fun, sorry I'm late,” Deadpool remarked stepping over Steve, “Clint! Wanna fill me in?”  
“That stupid webhead got himself turned into a freakin’ six year old by the new kid scarlet witch is training,” Tony grunted yanking some webbing off the suit.  
“Yeah,” Clint said landing lightly beside Wade, “ after these two got webbed up I figured I'd come babysit till you got here, try and find a weak spot in his webbed fortress but it's pretty solid,” he finished, shooting one last arrow for good measure.  
“Cap, how long ya been on the ground?” Wade asked crouching down next to the defeated soldier.  
“Two hours, he comes out long enough to re-web me the he retreats. He's mad that I tried to get him out of the web.” Steve said sounding devastated. “I've never met a kid who didnt love me.”  
“So I take it he still has all his powers?,” wade asked, starting to take off his weapons laying them neatly beside him.  
“Yeah all of them, also is he venomous? He kept biting my suit” Tony asked clearing the last of the webbing from said suit.  
“If that's the one that means ‘it bites you and you die’ then yes, but it's not too bad and he has an anti-venom in his lab,” Wade said shooting a grappling hook towards the beam closest to the nest, “Petey bites me every other day and I'm fine.”  
Wade pressed the retracted button and quickly shot up towards the beam, wrapping his legs around it he maneuvered himself into a sitting position and called over toward the nest, “Oh baby boy, you in there? I know you gotta be hungry after using up all that webbing.”  
“Wade?,” Peter said groggily peaking out of the nest.  
“oh my god, Petey you are absolutely adorable! Where you napping? I am going to take so many pictures!” Wade said looking over the spider child.  
“WADE!” Peter said fully waking up and flinging himself from the nest towards his boyfriend.  
“oh, wow we gotta break up till you're an adult again cause that's kinda creepy,” Wade says catching Peter and balancing himself on the beam.  
“Wade! Where were you? They were so mean to me and I'm hungry and my wrist hurt and I'm tired!,” Peter immediately started to cry.  
“Don't worry Petey pie, I've gotcha now, hold on and I'll get us down from here. And you should know better than to use all that web, it always makes your wrist hurt.” Wade scolded him slowly lowering them to the ground.  
“ I-I know but Billy hit me! And Wanda helped him and Steve was being scary!” Peter hiccuped.   
“Oh really? Steve, the big bad avenger, was scaring you?” Wade chuckled looking down at said avenger who was slowly peeling himself from the floor with Tony's help, “what did the big meanie do?”  
“He tried to come into my nest and he was talking in this weird voice. I told him to go away but he didn't so I webbed him,” Peter said glaring at Steve.  
“I'm sorry Peter I was just trying to help,” Steve finally broke the last strand of webbing from the floor, “ what can I do to make it up to you?”  
Peter continued to glare at the captain and probably would have shot another round of webs at him had his stomachache not chosen to growl. Wade looked down where the little spider was clinging to his side clad only in a pair of ill fitting boxers.  
“How about Steve makes us some pizza, while we try to find you some clothes?” Wade suggested, and Peter nodded enthusiastically.  
“And chocolate milk? And french fries? And brownies?” Peter asked eyes sparkling with hungry.  
“Of course, growing boys need their sugar,” Steve laughed heading towards the kitchen with Tony.  
“I sent Nat to pick up some clothes in his size earlier so he should have a good selection.” Clint said coming up and ruffling Peters hair.  
“Please tell me she bought spider man pajamas?”  
**************

The black widow did in fact buy spider man pajamas, and underwear and shoes even a spiderman doll, which she gave to Peter with the smuggest of grins, “You are adorable, and I will be taking so many pictures”  
“This what I said!,” wade exclaimed looking through all the clothes Natasha had bought and deciding on the cutest pair of spidey pajamas.,”Come on Petey let's get dressed.”  
“I'm doing it myself!” Wade turned to see Peter already wearing red pajama bottoms and trying to pull a black shirt over his head, “I'm not a baby.”  
“Oh Petey I beg to differ,” Wade said helping Peter put the shirt on correctly.  
When that was done Wade stepped back to see that he had found himself a tiny deadpool shirt amongst the pile of clothes and turned to gape at Natasha, “ I knew you would love it,” she said smugly snapping photos of peter on her phone.  
“you are an angel,” Wade whispered wiping away a fake tear.  
“Okay pizzas here! Tony called peeking his head into the living room where the mini fashion show was being held, “Friday please tell me you've been taking pics of this.”  
“Of course, sir,” the A.I. replied  
“food!” Peter exclaimed shooting out a web and running across the ceiling into the dining room.   
“hey! Get down from there!” Wade said chasing after him.  
**********  
Peter managed to drink an entire glass of chocolate milk and eat two slices of pizza before he stopped to breath.  
“Hungry little spider,” Natasha cooed taking more pictures of his food cover face, “smile for me Petey?”  
Peter looked up and grinned with a fist full of French fries in his mouth.  
“I don't know about anybody else but this is giving me a major case a baby fever,” wade remarked gazing lovingly at the food covered child.  
“why are you wearing your mask wadey?” Peter ask after swallowing another fist of fries.  
Wade sat back awkwardly, “ I uh, just don't want to offend anybody.”  
Peter looked at him with his patented puppy dog eyes that had only gained power with each year Peters age regressed, “please pooly?”  
“Go ahead ‘pooly' none of us are going to deny him anything while he looks like that,” Tony chuckled.  
Sighing wade removed his mask and Peter happily went back to eating.  
“ We are close to a breakthrough,” Wanda said walking into the dining room with billy, “ah, Wade you are back, I am sorry for turning your spider into a child but he was being and ass.”  
Wanda sat down grabbing a slice of pizza and pulled Billy down next to her, shoving a slice in his face, “ Eat.”  
“No problem, I mean please turn him back cause no child should have these abilities, but also he's so fucking cute!” Wade squealed pinching one of Peter's cheeks. Peter in turn snapped at wade's finger, “ ah, no biting at the dinner table we don't know what you're venom is like in this tiny body.”  
“He's venomous?” Billy asked sounding worried.  
“Only slightly, just sever pain and paralysis for a couple hours when he bit me,” Wade said taking another bite of pizza, “why did he try to bite you?”   
“Yes P- spider man seems very mad at Billy for changing him, he tried to bite him befor he made his nest,” Steve said looking concerned.  
“He's a stupid head,” Peter grumbled.  
Wade tried to hold back his laughter at Peters scathing insult, “still Spidey venomous people shouldn't try to bite others, they don't even have the anti- venom you made, you don't really want to hurt Billy do you?”  
“.....no,” Peter said sourly sticking his tongue out at Billy.  
“Good spidey, now what do you wanna do after dinner?”  
“Let's go fight bad guys!” Peter said nearly jumping out of his chair.  
“Sorry baby boy, you're too little to go fight bad guys,” Wade laughed rustling Peters hair.  
Peter shot Wade a dirty look, “Big enough to take on four avengers.”  
Wade really didn't have a way to argue with that, thankfully the black widow was always two steps ahead.  
“You do not have a suit young Spider, you can not fight without one. Why not watch movies instead?”  
Peter looked upset by her argument, but quickly cheered up when Cap told him he could pick the movie.   
************  
It was dark out, Wade had no idea what time it was; Peter had fallen asleep hours ago covered in a chocolate sundae that Steve had bribed him with, still trying to proof kids loved him. The rest of the team had left after the second viewing of cars and many pictures of Peters antics. Wanda came into the room quietly with a book open in her hands.  
“Did you figure out how to fix him?,” Wade whispered.  
“I hope so, there's no way we could raise Peter,” Wanda replied with a grin. “ It will take some time to work but he should be normal by morning.”  
Wade nodded as Wanda started the incantation, soft red light fell on to peter causing the boy to stir but he quickly went back to resting tucked closer into Wade's side.  
“That's all I can do for now, goodnight we'll see if it worked tomorrow,” Wanda said with a wave walking towards the elevator.  
Wade got up carefully turning off the Tv, then carrying Peter to their room. He chuckled to himself while redressing Peter in one of his nightshirts he stole from Wade and trying to wipe some of the ice cream from his face. He then placed Peter in their bed tucking him in and gently kissing his forehead, “love ya, petey.”  
*********  
Peter woke up to his entire body hurting, like growth pains but is he really still growing at twenty-four? And where was Wade? And why was there ice cream or something in his hair?  
Peter decided maybe coffee would help so he slipped on a pair of pajama bottoms and walked into the living area of his and Wades shared apartment at the Tower.  
Wade was snoring softly on the couch, remote still in his hand, Peter really wanted to take a picture, but he honestly had no idea where his phone was. Where did he have it last? He was texting Wade before going to help Billy train, but then what? He couldn't remember anything after training, or how it even went; just a blast of sparks and a little bit of anger towards Billy…  
Peter plopped down next to Wade on the couch, abruptly waking the mercenary,” what? Wh- Oh! Baby you're back to normal!”  
“What happened yesterday? Back to normal? I don't understand?,” Peter said as Wade pulled him into a hug.  
“Don't worry Petey pie I'll fill you in on everything and I got plenty of pictures to back me up.”


End file.
